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The Shag Bag

12 DEC 2017

Spieth’s Shrouds

The Associated Press’ Doug Ferguson revealed in an article last week that Jordan Spieth does not know his jacket size, and that has resulted in an oversized green jacket hanging in his closet at home. “I never got it tailored, so it’s huge,” Spieth told Ferguson. “I never trusted anybody, never wanted anyone to go do it. I didn’t give them my size originally. I wore the one off the green that day, and I never gave it back to them to tailor or anything. I should now.” Spieth explained to Ferguson that the reason he does not know his own jacket size is because he owns very few blazers, which is completely understandable for someone of Spieth’s age. (Although it makes you wonder what Spieth typically wears to the numerous formal events and fundraisers that he is invited to.) However, he did have to purchase a couple of jackets for the Presidents Cup in late September. And even though the 24-year-old has earned more than $34 million over his career, he nonetheless wanted to save a little money by putting those purchases on the Polo account of his pal Justin Thomas, who is sponsored by the clothing company. “I bought two suits on Justin’s Polo account and that’s the only nice clothes I’ve ever bought!” Spieth told Ferguson. “I bought two suits and the shoes and sweaters and whatnot because he got a discount.” The PGA Tour should probably capitalize on this tidbit of news by creating a tour-sponsored web series of the Texan shopping for clothes at various posh outfitters.

Unlucky Louie

We’ve seen some pretty strange withdrawals from tournaments this year. But what caused Louis Oosthuizen’s withdrawal from South Africa’s Joburg Open last week might just take the cake. On Tuesday, the 2010 Open champion clumsily jammed two of his fingers in between luggage trolleys at the airport and by Wednesday morning the South African’s fingers had become so swollen that he could not even grip a club. “This morning is even worse than it was yesterday,” Oosthuizen told reporters after withdrawing soon afterwards. “It’s a bit of an unfortunate one, but I don’t want to tee off Thursday and play one hole or a few shots and then withdraw after taking someone’s spot. I just can’t do that, so I’m going to have to withdraw from this one.” That was a very considerate and thoughtful gesture by one of the world’s top players. And American Cody Martin, who went on to take the 35-year-old’s spot in the field, might want to consider sending Oosthuizen a gift basket and a get-well-soon card in the mail!  

Off the Grid

A 60-year-old electrician from Perth, Australia, was fired last year after it was discovered that he had been blocking the GPS tracker on his company-issued cell phone to play golf during work hours. According to reports, Tom Colella had been concealing his whereabouts from his employer by inserting his phone into an empty foil-lined packet of cheese puffs. The metallic lining acted as an electromagnetic field-blocking “Faraday Cage”, which allowed Colella to hit the links 140 times over the course of two years without even once tipping off his employers. Unfortunately, his ingenious plan was eventually thwarted when one of Colella’s colleagues tattled on him with an anonymous letter to his superiors. Colella appealed the grounds of his termination to the Australia Fair Work Commission and, after a lengthy deliberation, the AFWC ruled last month that Colella’s employer was well within its rights to fire him. "I can find no plausible explanation why Mr. Colella would create a Faraday cage around his PDA, except to obstruct the GPS-collecting capacity of the device," said AFWC commissioner Bernie Riordan. “Mr. Colella appears to have been deliberately mischievous in acting in this manner.”    

Trick Shot of the Week

Shot of the Week

Shank of the Week

I mean, what did they think was going to happen?